Dear friends, where do I begin?
2023 has been an adventurous year for me, and I was initially unsure of the angle from which to approach my annual end-of-year reflection post. So, I decided to take a trip down memory lane to explore the intricate patterns that have characterised my life in 2023, and three things stood out to me: travel, friendships, and self-discovery. The easiest way for me to relay my life in 2023 is to divide it into four parts, based on the four cities I lived in: Gothenburg, Bilbao, Abuja, and London.
Gothenburg, Sweden
Flashback to January 1st: I was in Abuja, Nigeria. I had finally gotten my new passport after inexplicably losing it weeks before, which had resulted in me unexpectedly spending Christmas and New Year in Nigeria. After the whole festivities of attending crossover night, hanging out with my friend, and eating “New Year food”, I ended the day by working, because working during holidays has been a consistent theme in my life in the past year and a half (cheers to remote freelance working).
The next day, I was set to travel back to Gothenburg, Sweden, where I spent most of January – alone in my little apartment on Sven Brolids väg, in the dark and gloomy Gothenburg weather. But winter in Gothenburg wasn’t so bad, because I was mostly indoors, focused on completing my assignment and working intensely to make enough money to enjoy life in Bilbao. Every now and then, I would brave the ridiculously cold weather to hang out with friends.
Bilbao, Spain
Fast-forward to the end of January, when I moved to Bilbao, Spain to begin the next part of my master’s programme. I was beyond ecstatic to make this move. I would explore a different culture, learn a new language, maybe even make new friends. And Spain turned out to be everything I had hoped and even more. Out of all the places I have lived in so far, Bilbao ranks at number 1. Cost of living is relatively low, the people are nice and friendly, the culture is rich, the city is small but lively. What more could I want? The only downside of living in Bilbao for me was the language barrier: Even though I was eventually able to get by with a few basic Spanish phrases, I wasn’t able to hold deep conversations in Spanish.
The next key moment in my life in 2023 came towards the end of March, which was undoubtedly my lowest point of the year (and which inspired this piece). What really helped me get through that period was my friends. I had become closer to colleagues on my master’s programme, and our little get-togethers really kept me going. I also had video calls with my friends in other countries, and I would tell anyone who cared to listen what I was going through. Whoever said a problem shared is half solved really knew what they were on about.
In April, during the Easter break, I explored Bilbao in a bit more depth. But the highlight of my time in Spain came in May, when I essentially vacationed around the country with three groups of friends, some of whom came to visit me from other countries. In different groups, we visited Barcelona, Valencia, Bermeo, Mundaka, and Busturia. We also visited some key tourist attractions in Bilbao that I had already seen before, including the Funicular de Artxanda and the Guggenheim. Life was going really well – almost too well – as if to make up for the low point I went through in March.
Vacationing in Bilbao
Abuja, Nigeria
In June, I moved back to Abuja, Nigeria for the three-month summer holiday. If I had to sum up my life in Abuja in one phrase, it would be premium enjoyment. I have to say that in the few countries I’ve lived in, nightlife in Abuja remains unmatched – for me, at least. Eating grilled fish or peppered goat meat with yam fries and plantains, dancing and vibing to Afrobeats, drinking Arabian tea, conversing with friends – that is my idea of a good time.
But since all play and no work makes Rukky a mere toy, I was also working with an NGO while in Abuja, doing my freelance editing, and engaging in a million other side things, because I am the queen of creating work for myself. Other highlights of my time in Abuja were attending my mum’s book launch, attending my dad’s 60th birthday conference, and turning 24 myself!
London, United Kingdom
In September, I moved to London, United Kingdom. I was super happy to move back to London, having been away for three years (not counting my two-week visit to London in 2022). My life in London now is characterised by balancing work and study with leisure and wellbeing. Each week is a balancing act between studying and working on my assignments, doing my part-time work, hanging out with friends, going to the gym, cooking, and building my side projects.
It is life in London that I want to reflect on the most, because my life in London now is quite different from what it used to be in the five years I lived here, from 2015 to 2020. And my life in London is different not only because London is different from how it used to be three years ago but also because I’m different too.
I am no longer the 20-year-old Rukky who left London in March 2020, just when COVID-19 was about to spiral out of control, and who was uncertain about graduation and life after graduation. I’ve definitely grown as a person – in terms of my relationships, my finances, my career, and my overall personality. I’ve learned more about myself, and, importantly, I’ve learned to accept and love every single part of me – quirks, imperfections, and all.
Life in London lately
In a way, I have come full circle, because my first ever end-of-year reflection post was written in 2020, the year in which I left London. In that post, I asked the question, “What do you want from life?” The answer to that question is a lot clearer to me now than it was three years ago.
Tying it all Together
In my previous reflection posts, I talked about how previous years gave me the gifts of time and patience. It’s easy to see that 2023 gave me the gift of travel, and in the course of travelling, I have also relearned the value of friendships and unintentionally embarked on a journey of self-discovery. 2023 put a burning desire in me to see the world. There is so much out there – so much history, culture, landscape, food, music, and people. I want to see, experience, and feel as much of it as I can.
I didn’t do everything I could have possibly done in 2023, but I’m also willing to cut myself some slack. I’ve realised that sometimes we’re so focused on where we want to be that we can’t even recognise how far we’ve come and enjoy the moment. I am very conscious that the life I’m living now is the life I once dreamed of. It is far from perfect, but perfection is an elusive ideal anyway, so I am determined to make the most of everything that I currently have.
I am entering 2024 with intentionality. I am acutely aware that I am at a pivotal stage in my life – edging towards the end of my early twenties and the end of my academic journey. I don’t know yet what the next year has in store for me, but I’m eager to say that even though 2023 has been my best and most adventurous year yet, 2024 will be even better.
To my friends, family, and subscribers, thanks for sticking with me in 2023, and I can’t wait to see you in 2024.
Cheers to the unwritten tales that await us in the new year! 🥂
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KIKI 